Visiting New Mums

One of the biggest issues I hear about new mums is visitors. Some people struggle to understand a new family and can unwittingly be less than helpful. Most of our visitors have been very respectful which we really appreciate. However I have definitely learned a few lessons about how to treat people after they have a baby. These are my do's and don't for visiting a new baby.

Do

Fit in around the new family. Yes they may be off work but remember they have tonnes of appointments, and probably half the people they know wanting to visit- fit in around their schedule

Wait your turn. Yes I am sure you want to see your friends new baby- so does her and her partners family. They come first- wait your turn.

Offer to bring them things- a lot of people asked if we needed anything picking up e.g groceries. We declined all offers but i thought it was lovely that people offered- especially with all the cups of tea being made for visitors- it was thoughtful and if i had been less organised it would have been a huge help.

Familiarise yourself with their kitchen. Go make yourself and the new parents a cup of tea. 

Bring food. The new parents may be struggling to find time to cook- bring them a casserole or a lasagna- you have no idea how much this will mean to them.

Offer to help. Not just with the baby either- although someone offering to look after her while I have a shower is a huge help. Do the dishes, chuck the laundry on, wizz the hoover around for them- anything small like that is a huge help. 

Don't

Pressurise them for a visit.If you are pushy you solidify your place at the bottom of the list. Trust me. 

Expect to be entertained or fed. Please- new parents often barely find time to feed themselves- do not go to their house and expect them to cook you a meal!either avoid mealtimes (ideally) or bring food with you, ideally enough to feed you and the new family. 

Overstay your welcome. They likely wont tell you when you have stayed too long but you can guarantee they will feel the affects. Keep visits short and concise. Overtired baby means overtired parents and a night of no sleep. 

Focus just on the baby. both parents have gone through a lot- give them some love too!

Lastly- no inappropriate jokes. Even the most straightforward of births can be traumatic, and these new parents have been through a lot. they are likely tired, potentially sore either from birth of napping in uncomfortable hospital chairs, and probably do not have the biggest sense of humour right now. Just try to be sensitive.

Mummy
xxx